so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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