weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
