I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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