Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
