How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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