scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
