What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
