If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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