Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
