i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Quick, to the slutcave!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
