he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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