I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
