Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
