What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You left your phone here
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