I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
