Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
