Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The best revenge is premature balding
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
