I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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