The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
