I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
