can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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