I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
