Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
