..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I pour the whiskey from now on
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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