If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
