he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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