yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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