thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
