Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
