I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
