WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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