they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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