you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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