Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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