Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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