Do you still have your period?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
