that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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