You really coming over, don't trick.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
