No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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