i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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