just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
