that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
