Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
