living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
