Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry about my life...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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