She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Text me some of your sweat
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