Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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