I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
