I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
