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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i drank out of a bidet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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