Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I am morally bankrupt
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
