uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
