so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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