hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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